I had all my four children within a five year time span and even I realised that this was crazy at the time. What I found even more crazy was that the advice, guidance and information I received from fellow mums, my maternal health care nurse and all the available literature changed dramatically between child number one and child number four. Dummy yes for number one, dummy no for number four. Controlled crying ok for number one but definitely not by number four. The advice my mum was given 26 years prior when I was born was so out of date it eventually came back into fashion sometime around child number three. More confusing than raising the children was knowing which was the right advice to follow.

As a mediator we are trained in the current thinking about the relationships between parents and children and the impact of separation and certain parenting regimes. There are, of course, certain leaders in the field of child psychology whose research become gospel and heavily impacts current thinking about what is in the best interests of children. This current thinking is then incorporated into how disputes involving children are resolved, both explicitly through changes in the law or through the advice lawyers, mediators and psychologists give to their clients.

What is interesting about this book review is that it examines the various schools of thought about separation and children, and how they change over time. It is worth considering that when we attempt to educate our clients about what is in their child’s best interests, and when they are struggling with making the ‘right’ decision about what to do, these decisions and whether they are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ will most certainly change over time.

http://m.newyorker.com/archive/2002/04/22/020422crbo_books